Saturday, June 30, 2012
When good is not quite good enough...you're getting better
Happy Summer again yall!!
Its good to speak with you always. I hope you are all doing well and taking a step closer to your dream whatever it may be. I'm doing my best and I look forward to telling you all about a major TV or film appearance that I will be making. Soon enough guys :)
Today i'm going to share another emotional evening in my life as me. I do it for a good cause of course...that cause is so that we can all learn (or re-learn) from it and push ourselves to higher levels in our professional and personal lives. Also, I do love you guys and I promised to always be honest with y'all.
A few years into my acting training at Beverly Hills Playhouse I had a BIG scene coming up. My good friend Torrey and I (shout out to him, his fam and NOLA) were doing a scene from a new play that was a story based around Hurricane Katrina. The play did a month run in LA before we performed the scene in class. I saw it and had the script and the scene for a good while. I worked on this thing like never before. I really felt this was a scene that I could show nearly all my skills. Part of the reason that I worked so hard on this scene was a chance meeting with Gerard Butler a little while earlier. Total nice guy and when I asked him about getting to the big time in the business he mentioned two things 1. Just keep auditioning and 2. Put your work in on scenes in class and aim for great..not good. I agreed so I made it a point to step up all my scene prep work after his wisdom. I felt like my acting skill and technique was improving exponentially. I was so amped!
Long-ish story short we get to performance night. I'm feeling ready and open to show my art and work. The scene goes and it was not nearly as great as I wanted or expected. It was amateurish, sloppy, but with some good emotion and connection between the actors. During the critique while giving some general notes my teacher, Art, looked at me and asked what the matter was. I was nearly in tears. I let the tears go and I said "I cant work like this. I should leave this F*****g town if this is the best I can do. I put in time, hours and this was bull****. You guys (my classmates) deserve better because you put up better. I singled out (in a positive way) two of my class mates Lindi and Nick to tell them "When you guys put up a scene with this much prep time its f****g awesome..this was total high school bull***t". To Nick and Lindi, I hope that didnt embarrass you when I said that as it was meant as a high compliment. I never apologized and I do now for what its worth.
My teacher called me to sit back down as I was pacing and screaming and crying. So I did. We kept talking, I was almost inconsolable. He told me that the scene had problems but it wasnt that bad and then I uttered the mantra that drives my acting career every day..Full tears in my eyes I looked at my teacher and yelled.. "TO BE GOOD IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH WHEN YOU DREAM OF BEING GREAT". The room kinda went silent. My classmate Kristin C was in the front row and she shed a little bit of a tear as she was feeling me. Thanks Kristin!!!
My acting teacher shared some wisdom too. Nobody will be the "greatest" actor in town as its subjective. Thats very true. Its about being the best YOU that you can be. Also very true. That being said, I stand 1000% behind what I said. Good and great are different things guys. Being good at something and being great at something will leave you in two different parts of your desired field. More importantly its a choice. If you are willing to accept good...thats fine. Go for that. Others of us are only going to accept "Great". You will never be known as the greatest actor in Hollywood but you can be a "great" actor in an absolute sense. To achieve that greatness you have to shoot for that every time you perform and prepare to perform. If you have ever been good at something, you know the difference between good and great. There is a difference..and its a clear difference. You cant be great at everything to be sure. Think about the most important thing or skill that you want to develop in your life. Dont accept "good enough" in that thing. Put your energies towards being GREAT at it. I promise it will help you live the best life you can. All it takes is a little more effort and focus, consistently, to put you in position for greatness
The inspirational quote of today bears repeating..
"To be good is not good enough when you dream of being great"
The next time you start doing something relating to that thing you want to be great at..whether its acting, singing, accounting, coaching, parenting, fighting, football, basketball or painting, remind yourself of this mantra. You will find that you may not achieve greatness in that particular event but the PURSUIT OF GREATNESS with all your energy will get your juices flowing
Thanks for listening guys..Have a great day and hit me up on twitter
Ahmad
@MoviestarAhmad
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Reshape your hunk of clay
Greetings Super Heroes!
As always I hope everyone is doing well and living their life to the fullest. One of my great mentors used to talk to me a lot about "sharing your toys". In other words the things you have that help you, share them with others who you think can benefit. Along with being a creative outlet for my writing and a chronicle of my journey, that is part of what this blog is about. Besides, I feel great helping someone else adjust their mentality to be a little more positive and to BELIEVE in their own opportunity for success. Yes, we all have an opportunity to succeed in this life. :) Anywho....
Years ago, my sister gave me a book that would change my life. The book was "The 48 Laws of Power". Those of you who are close friends know that I SWEAR by this book and highly recommend it to anyone who is open to changing their way of viewing themselves and the world. In what might go down as the worst teaser ever, I will likely write blog posts relating to many of the 48 laws as they constantly make appearances in my daily life and work. Of all the laws mentioned in the book, the law that spoke loudest to me upon my first reading of the book was the 25th Law. Simply stated the law is composed of two words that together make a very profound statement...
As always I hope everyone is doing well and living their life to the fullest. One of my great mentors used to talk to me a lot about "sharing your toys". In other words the things you have that help you, share them with others who you think can benefit. Along with being a creative outlet for my writing and a chronicle of my journey, that is part of what this blog is about. Besides, I feel great helping someone else adjust their mentality to be a little more positive and to BELIEVE in their own opportunity for success. Yes, we all have an opportunity to succeed in this life. :) Anywho....
Years ago, my sister gave me a book that would change my life. The book was "The 48 Laws of Power". Those of you who are close friends know that I SWEAR by this book and highly recommend it to anyone who is open to changing their way of viewing themselves and the world. In what might go down as the worst teaser ever, I will likely write blog posts relating to many of the 48 laws as they constantly make appearances in my daily life and work. Of all the laws mentioned in the book, the law that spoke loudest to me upon my first reading of the book was the 25th Law. Simply stated the law is composed of two words that together make a very profound statement...
RE-CREATE YOURSELF!
Simple right? Profoundly so, in my opinion. The law continues by saying "Do NOT accept the roles that society foists on you. Re-create yourself by forging a new identity, one that commands attention and never bores the audience. Be the master of your own image rather than letting others define it for you." That's powerful stuff! Taking control of your image, your "self" and your life is a hallmark of successful people in all walks of life. It does not matter who (or what) you were before reading this, you can choose to create a new and better you. We all know people who have accepted whatever they were given in life when we know they could do either 1. So much more or 2. Live a life that fulfilled them. You cant want it for them more than they want it for themselves. So lets talk about why YOU should want it.
So that we are clear please understand this, the world wants to assign you a role in life. Once you accept that role you are doomed and you are limited to whatever happiness, freedom and fulfillment is allotted to that role. Instead of accepting that, be defiant and forge your own identity. An identity that is of your own making that has NO BOUNDARIES assigned to it by and envious and resentful world. This profound act of defiance makes you responsible for your own creation.
The beginning of recreating yourself is becoming self-aware. Who are you? What are you about? What do you believe? What don't you like about the role/life you have now? What do you really want to do? These are tough questions to be sure. Questions where you have to be supremely and brutally honest with yourself. Its really tough to look at a job or a long standing habit and acknowledge that this is NOT what I want to be any more. Being a teacher for 10 years and realizing that you want to recreate yourself as an entrepreneur or a novelist would be a shock initially to your system. Once you do and decide to recreate yourself, you will be propelled forward to the work it will take for you to create this new and improved you. Again, a new YOU of your own creation.
Remember guys, the character you seem to have been born with is not necessarily who you are. Beyond the physical characteristics you got from your parents, your friends, peers and experiences have shaped who you are. The task of recreating yourself requires you to take control of the process and stop allowing others the power of molding (and limiting) you. Working on yourself should be one of your greatest and most pleasurable life tasks. It makes you an artist, an artist creating yourself. What you do to mold your hunk of clay is up to you. You might be asking what are some of the things that have been part of my evolution??
Painting....Acting Training...Commitment to Fitness....Learning new languages...Fashion...Learning to cook...Martial Arts....Voice Lessons...Travel to very exotic locales...charity work
All these things I am constantly working on. Because these are the things (among others) that have helped me create who I am NOW vs who I was years ago. You can do it if you wish as well. If you want to think about it from an even simpler perspective...take the oath. Take a look at your life..now say to yourself
I will be in control of my life and my self..I will not let people or my circumstance dictate who I am. I will be who I WANT TO BE and live the life I WANT TO LIVE
Sometime change starts with making a commitment to yourself :)
Our inspiration for the week...
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Art is life and YOUR life is art
Happy Summer Everybody!
Good to talk to you all again. Before I start on this post let me remind you all that its time to hit the gym hard so that you can hit the beach even harder. :)
Recently, I lent my acting skills to an art project. Not an art project in the sense that all film/TV/theatre is art but an actual art project destined to show at museums and art galleries. Instead of a director I worked closely with the artist as it was her artistic vision that I was cast to help bring to life. What is the project, you ask? She is sharing a point of view on US political elections and the campaign process. Its going to combine still images, some campaign posters and this video of this hot actor guy giving a political stump speech :)
Anyhow, the important part of this story is here. We got talking during the filming of my piece of this project and we started talking about art and being an artist. The artist on this project has been a physical artist her whole life. Started studying it in her early teen years and continued on through various art academies. We talked about actors, painters, musicians, athletes and even bus drivers. During the conversation she made an excellent point...
How very true! Everything we do can be done with artistry and skill and the joy that an artist has when expressing themselves. You don't have to paint or sing. You can be a bus driver and still command the wheel and the streets as if you are conducting the LA Philharmonic.
We all do different things with our lives. Office jobs, sports jobs, law enforcement jobs etc. When you boil down the word artist, in a general sense, it means A person who's work exhibits exceptional skill. I am challenging YOU (since you did read this) to look at everything you do from your professional life through your personal life and look for opportunities to be an artist. You don't have to sculpt to be an artist. You can wait tables and do it with artistry. Whatever you do, do it with exceptional skill and watch how life will seem just a little bit brighter
Quote for the week
"Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what they think into it"
Have a great week y'all!
Good to talk to you all again. Before I start on this post let me remind you all that its time to hit the gym hard so that you can hit the beach even harder. :)
Recently, I lent my acting skills to an art project. Not an art project in the sense that all film/TV/theatre is art but an actual art project destined to show at museums and art galleries. Instead of a director I worked closely with the artist as it was her artistic vision that I was cast to help bring to life. What is the project, you ask? She is sharing a point of view on US political elections and the campaign process. Its going to combine still images, some campaign posters and this video of this hot actor guy giving a political stump speech :)
Anyhow, the important part of this story is here. We got talking during the filming of my piece of this project and we started talking about art and being an artist. The artist on this project has been a physical artist her whole life. Started studying it in her early teen years and continued on through various art academies. We talked about actors, painters, musicians, athletes and even bus drivers. During the conversation she made an excellent point...
Everyone is an artist or can be in their own way.
How very true! Everything we do can be done with artistry and skill and the joy that an artist has when expressing themselves. You don't have to paint or sing. You can be a bus driver and still command the wheel and the streets as if you are conducting the LA Philharmonic.
We all do different things with our lives. Office jobs, sports jobs, law enforcement jobs etc. When you boil down the word artist, in a general sense, it means A person who's work exhibits exceptional skill. I am challenging YOU (since you did read this) to look at everything you do from your professional life through your personal life and look for opportunities to be an artist. You don't have to sculpt to be an artist. You can wait tables and do it with artistry. Whatever you do, do it with exceptional skill and watch how life will seem just a little bit brighter
Quote for the week
"Life is a mirror and will reflect back to the thinker what they think into it"
Have a great week y'all!
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Bulletproof Confidence Part 3..Dont talk about it, BE it
Happy Tuesday Everyone!!
Its great to "speak" with all of you. First of all, thank you for all the feedback on the confidence series! Its always great to talk about something that resonates with friends, family and strangers. With that, we move to the third and final part of our series
Stop talking and BE..
Congratulations on this journey! We started together at zero confidence. Nobody wants to exist there so the goal was to achieve Bulletproof, Unflappable, Moviestar, No F*****g doubt Confidence..(sounds cool don't it?). So lets review the steps that got us here..
Step 1..Fake it till you make it
Step 2..Build the skills to build real confidence
Now what? Whats the mind state you need to graduate to in order to use what you have done so far to push your confidence forward? You might be surprised to hear that its about being less, as opposed to more. Let me tell you a quick story..
Real confidence is about knowing with every fiber of your being what you are and what you can do. Confidence is the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. Certain..absolutely sure of that truth. When your confidence is real, it affects every move you make. You walk and talk differently when you are fully immersed in your bulletproof confidence. When you enter your field of play be it a basketball court, audition room, cage, recording studio or open mic that confidence is palpable to everyone else in that space with you. This level of confidence can change your life, y'all! When it is clear that you are really that confident in yourself, others will subconsciously and automatically have confidence in YOU. Again, its no longer about you explaining how confident you are its about you EXISTING in a state of full confidence in yourself. The most handsome guy in the room doesn't announce it with his words when he hits the door..he announces it with his demeanor and aura and everyone else just acknowledges what is already there.
The BIG reason that your confidence must eventually evolve to this point is because so much of what we do in life involves nonverbal communication. In other words, what are you saying without saying a word? If your mind, body and spirit is screaming confidence at the people you interact with, things will start falling your way a lot more than they did when you had less confidence in yourself and your abilities. For us actor and artist types, the confidence is essential because we get so many no's. That is the nature of the beast but you cant start doubting yourself and your abilities because you havent booked a job in a week, a month, a year for that matter. Every time you walk into the audition room you have to be at top confidence but not so that you can be protected from the no, but so that you can pull the director, casting director into your world of confidence in you. Who knows, you might just get that job :)
Its a long journey guys. Wherever you are at on the scale (Faking it, Building Skills, Bulletproof) it takes work to get to the next level and to maintain it. Its so worth it guys. Especially when you look back on your less confident days with your new more confident mind. A few things to remember guys
The best basketball player on the court doesn't talk about it, he just does his thing
The hottest person in the bar doesn't yell about it because everyone else knows it
The best actor doesn't tell you they are, they are because they show you
Show, don't tell your skills now. Others will see and when THEY talk about you and how great you are, that's what legends are made of. BE LEGENDARY!
As ALWAYS I welcome your comments and questions. Thanks for reading and for going with me on my journey to moviestardom :)
Our inspiration for this week?
"You cant wait for inspiration, you have to go after it..with a CLUB"
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Bulletproof Confidence Part 2..Step your game up
Hello folks!
As always thanks for joining me on this journey. Seems like the first part of the series on confidence was well received. To quickly recap; Fake it til you make it. Well now we are going to talk about the "make it" part of building that confidence. Essentially, how YOU are going to take your confidence from the facade state to a more solid foundation. Yeah I'm talking to YOU! :)
Step your game UP
So you have been faking this recent confidence. In a lot of cases you are creating and believing your own hype, ignoring Flavor Flavs famous warning. This at least starts you on the path of thinking confidently about yourself IE you CAN do it instead of CANT which is the standard answer for those lacking confidence. At your core you are aware that this "confidence" is more smoke and mirrors than substance. So how do you get that substance? Its time to step your game up and acquire skills that you can be confident in. Leave the ego and get to work. Start with whatever you are best at, because everyone is best at something, and seek out knowledge, training and teachers in that pursuit. It can be anything. It can be a sport, a foreign language, poetry or writing, singing, cooking anything that you look at and definitely want to be better at. When you are studying and training it is VERY important to leave this new growing ego out of it because nobody likes a student who thinks he/she knows more than the teacher. Study...LEARN with an open mind because that type of mind will soak up the knowledge and skill that you are seeking. As you are learning build that confidence by seeing honestly how good you were at this thing when you started and realize how much better you are it after a month or 6, for example. You will surprise yourself
Basketball was one of my first foundations of confidence. Sure I played but my junior year in HS I was honestly pretty so-so. I started talking a good game, sure. That helped moving up from my Sophomore year. I didn't quite have the season that I thought I would but it wasn't because of lack of effort. It was because I just didn't have the skills..straight up. I had some, but not enough to help the team as much as I wanted to. Between my junior and senior year I sought teaching from new coaches, better players to compete against and I put in time on my game. I played every chance I could that off season (with a small break to perform in Much Ado About Nothing :)) and the work paid off in new skills, better performances and a new higher level of confidence EVERY TIME I stepped on the court. The hidden benefit, at the time, was that I had a higher level of real confidence when I stepped off the court. I had no idea that doing my thing on the court would make me walk with my head up higher but it did! Ahh, to be 16-17 and not know how things interconnect :)
Anyway, when you start to get that first bit of solid real confidence or what you KNOW you're really good at you can attack your learning of other things with a much more confident edge. You still need to learn and build skills to continue building your confidence. At the same time you now have a higher baseline of confidence than you did when you were completely in your faking stage. The reality is that I have constantly picked up new skills for my life tool bag and whereas they are things I want to learn they all help my confidence in that I always have more skills at my disposal than the previous year. Its like a big long chain of added skills... Basketball-Acting-French-Volleyball-Public Speaking-Football-Management-People Skills-Golf-Cooking-Fitness-Portuguese-Muay Thai-Philosophy-Brazilian Jiu Jitsu-Fashion-Wine Tasting. The list goes on
I'm sure some of you think some of these things aren't skills. That's fine. They are all topics that I am confident IN MY ABILITIES and KNOWLEDGE. Am I the best in these things? Certainly not but when you can walk through life and know that you can "do" these things, it makes you more comfortable in all situations. Confidence on some level is about that..being comfortable in your own skin in all situations.
Stay tuned for part 3 in the confidence series!
Our inspirational quote for today..
"Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth...tame the dragon and get the gift"
Stay positive y'all and have a FANTASTIC week!
As always thanks for joining me on this journey. Seems like the first part of the series on confidence was well received. To quickly recap; Fake it til you make it. Well now we are going to talk about the "make it" part of building that confidence. Essentially, how YOU are going to take your confidence from the facade state to a more solid foundation. Yeah I'm talking to YOU! :)
Step your game UP
So you have been faking this recent confidence. In a lot of cases you are creating and believing your own hype, ignoring Flavor Flavs famous warning. This at least starts you on the path of thinking confidently about yourself IE you CAN do it instead of CANT which is the standard answer for those lacking confidence. At your core you are aware that this "confidence" is more smoke and mirrors than substance. So how do you get that substance? Its time to step your game up and acquire skills that you can be confident in. Leave the ego and get to work. Start with whatever you are best at, because everyone is best at something, and seek out knowledge, training and teachers in that pursuit. It can be anything. It can be a sport, a foreign language, poetry or writing, singing, cooking anything that you look at and definitely want to be better at. When you are studying and training it is VERY important to leave this new growing ego out of it because nobody likes a student who thinks he/she knows more than the teacher. Study...LEARN with an open mind because that type of mind will soak up the knowledge and skill that you are seeking. As you are learning build that confidence by seeing honestly how good you were at this thing when you started and realize how much better you are it after a month or 6, for example. You will surprise yourself
Basketball was one of my first foundations of confidence. Sure I played but my junior year in HS I was honestly pretty so-so. I started talking a good game, sure. That helped moving up from my Sophomore year. I didn't quite have the season that I thought I would but it wasn't because of lack of effort. It was because I just didn't have the skills..straight up. I had some, but not enough to help the team as much as I wanted to. Between my junior and senior year I sought teaching from new coaches, better players to compete against and I put in time on my game. I played every chance I could that off season (with a small break to perform in Much Ado About Nothing :)) and the work paid off in new skills, better performances and a new higher level of confidence EVERY TIME I stepped on the court. The hidden benefit, at the time, was that I had a higher level of real confidence when I stepped off the court. I had no idea that doing my thing on the court would make me walk with my head up higher but it did! Ahh, to be 16-17 and not know how things interconnect :)
Anyway, when you start to get that first bit of solid real confidence or what you KNOW you're really good at you can attack your learning of other things with a much more confident edge. You still need to learn and build skills to continue building your confidence. At the same time you now have a higher baseline of confidence than you did when you were completely in your faking stage. The reality is that I have constantly picked up new skills for my life tool bag and whereas they are things I want to learn they all help my confidence in that I always have more skills at my disposal than the previous year. Its like a big long chain of added skills... Basketball-Acting-French-Volleyball-Public Speaking-Football-Management-People Skills-Golf-Cooking-Fitness-Portuguese-Muay Thai-Philosophy-Brazilian Jiu Jitsu-Fashion-Wine Tasting. The list goes on
I'm sure some of you think some of these things aren't skills. That's fine. They are all topics that I am confident IN MY ABILITIES and KNOWLEDGE. Am I the best in these things? Certainly not but when you can walk through life and know that you can "do" these things, it makes you more comfortable in all situations. Confidence on some level is about that..being comfortable in your own skin in all situations.
Stay tuned for part 3 in the confidence series!
Our inspirational quote for today..
"Challenge is a dragon with a gift in its mouth...tame the dragon and get the gift"
Stay positive y'all and have a FANTASTIC week!
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Bulletproof Confidence Part 1..Fake it til u make it!
Happy Sunday Folks!
Thank you for being a part of my journey towards being the biggest moviestar in Los Angeles :) This post is the first in a three part series on a topic that is very important no matter who you are or what you do..CONFIDENCE. We all need help with this from time to time. So let me help you (and me) by recounting my personal path that led me to being confident.
When you get right down to it, no single thing is more important to your individual success than confidence in yourself and your abilities. Its more important than desire..or luck or even hard work. As important as those things are, if you are not confident in yourself and what you are doing its not going to happen for you. If you seek success in a group/team situation you MUST have confidence in yourself, your teammates and leaders. That confidence will make the preparation, hard work and desire come together in a glorious payoff for all involved. We all love to talk about those moments when we are maneuvering with complete confidence. Lets start from the beginning when a person doesn't have much confidence at all.
You've heard the expression "Fake it til you make it"? People say that in relation to several different topics so I'm certainly not telling you this for the first time. Here is something that I likely am telling you for the first time..In the quest for bullet-proof, unflappable, moviestar, no f*****g doubt confidence the truth is you have to start out fake..100% absolutely FAKE. Before you hop on your authenticity high horse and get all disenchanted with me, think about what your alternative is..NO confidence. If my choice is fake it or have zero confidence I would gladly choose to have fake confidence for a few months as a bridge while I work on (part 2 of the series) building real confidence. OK, so how do we fake it?
Exaggerate! Exaggerate your abilities, your skills..your EVERYTHING. This is different from bragging or boasting though it will look the same from those on the outside. Its about you having some positive self-conversations to build your self image, which is crucial to your confidence. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that "Sure, you CAN do that". Eventually, tell your friends that you can do it too. As for what it is, choose anything that you have even the most basic of knowledge and skills in. Start talking as if you are better at that thing than you are. An old basketball coach once told me that "If you are exactly as good as you say you are, you have a pretty low opinion of yourself." His point was always tell people you are a little bit better than you are. As you have been faking it, people are going to want to see these skills. Good!! The pressure you have added means you will go for that higher level and by definition be better than you are usually. This pressure will make you fail in the beginning. THATS FINE! The reward of the feeling you will have from attacking something with confidence (and failing) is worth it. Besides, you were failing before with zero confidence. This way you at least look like you have a chance to be successful. When you step away and examine this failure you will be able to see that you did not succeed but you did MUCH BETTER than you did before with zero confidence and zero pressure. You must examine the failures and successes you have to see where you did improve as well as where you need to improve going forward (More in part 2).
Let me condense it all so we get the lesson:
You MUST RISK the failures that will come about with your new fake confidence.
You MUST RISK that people may look at you as a braggart and arrogant.
You MUST REVIEW what you did right and wrong to set and eventually raise your baseline of confidence.
I'm always gonna be honest with you guys. Honestly, the lessons you learn will be PAINFUL up front. Its gonna hurt like hell emotionally and physically. That being said, all the rejections and falling on my face (literally in some cases) seem funny and endearing when I look back on them today with a confident mind. What I'm trying to say is the trip was definitely worth the pain. So embrace that pain and start building your fortress of confidence. If you can look at yourself and honestly know that you are lacking confidence..fake it and build it.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned for Part 2. As for the quote today, its about our topic
"Every day just get better and better. Confidence breeds success and success breeds confidence. Confidence applied properly can surpass genius. There is nothing like confidence guys, there's just nothing like it"
See you soon and as always BE A MOVIESTAR...EVERYDAY!
Thank you for being a part of my journey towards being the biggest moviestar in Los Angeles :) This post is the first in a three part series on a topic that is very important no matter who you are or what you do..CONFIDENCE. We all need help with this from time to time. So let me help you (and me) by recounting my personal path that led me to being confident.
When you get right down to it, no single thing is more important to your individual success than confidence in yourself and your abilities. Its more important than desire..or luck or even hard work. As important as those things are, if you are not confident in yourself and what you are doing its not going to happen for you. If you seek success in a group/team situation you MUST have confidence in yourself, your teammates and leaders. That confidence will make the preparation, hard work and desire come together in a glorious payoff for all involved. We all love to talk about those moments when we are maneuvering with complete confidence. Lets start from the beginning when a person doesn't have much confidence at all.
You've heard the expression "Fake it til you make it"? People say that in relation to several different topics so I'm certainly not telling you this for the first time. Here is something that I likely am telling you for the first time..In the quest for bullet-proof, unflappable, moviestar, no f*****g doubt confidence the truth is you have to start out fake..100% absolutely FAKE. Before you hop on your authenticity high horse and get all disenchanted with me, think about what your alternative is..NO confidence. If my choice is fake it or have zero confidence I would gladly choose to have fake confidence for a few months as a bridge while I work on (part 2 of the series) building real confidence. OK, so how do we fake it?
Exaggerate! Exaggerate your abilities, your skills..your EVERYTHING. This is different from bragging or boasting though it will look the same from those on the outside. Its about you having some positive self-conversations to build your self image, which is crucial to your confidence. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that "Sure, you CAN do that". Eventually, tell your friends that you can do it too. As for what it is, choose anything that you have even the most basic of knowledge and skills in. Start talking as if you are better at that thing than you are. An old basketball coach once told me that "If you are exactly as good as you say you are, you have a pretty low opinion of yourself." His point was always tell people you are a little bit better than you are. As you have been faking it, people are going to want to see these skills. Good!! The pressure you have added means you will go for that higher level and by definition be better than you are usually. This pressure will make you fail in the beginning. THATS FINE! The reward of the feeling you will have from attacking something with confidence (and failing) is worth it. Besides, you were failing before with zero confidence. This way you at least look like you have a chance to be successful. When you step away and examine this failure you will be able to see that you did not succeed but you did MUCH BETTER than you did before with zero confidence and zero pressure. You must examine the failures and successes you have to see where you did improve as well as where you need to improve going forward (More in part 2).
Let me condense it all so we get the lesson:
You MUST RISK the failures that will come about with your new fake confidence.
You MUST RISK that people may look at you as a braggart and arrogant.
You MUST REVIEW what you did right and wrong to set and eventually raise your baseline of confidence.
I'm always gonna be honest with you guys. Honestly, the lessons you learn will be PAINFUL up front. Its gonna hurt like hell emotionally and physically. That being said, all the rejections and falling on my face (literally in some cases) seem funny and endearing when I look back on them today with a confident mind. What I'm trying to say is the trip was definitely worth the pain. So embrace that pain and start building your fortress of confidence. If you can look at yourself and honestly know that you are lacking confidence..fake it and build it.
Thanks for reading and stay tuned for Part 2. As for the quote today, its about our topic
"Every day just get better and better. Confidence breeds success and success breeds confidence. Confidence applied properly can surpass genius. There is nothing like confidence guys, there's just nothing like it"
See you soon and as always BE A MOVIESTAR...EVERYDAY!
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Notes from my Latest Project..Preparation is key!
Hey Gang!!
The fitness column was pretty well received. So please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions that I didn't answer.
Spent some quality time last week working on set. Yes, the thing I try to do and would do every damn day if I could. :) The project is titled "Only in LA" and is a collection of vignettes that happen in and around the city of Los Angeles. The particular story that I worked on centered around a broken up couple reuniting, awkwardly, on the set of an adult film. So was I playing the male love interest? The guy that came between the couple? NOPE..i got to play an adult film star!!! YES! So very excited I was. Why? That's the point of today's column..the FUN of what I do.
First, big shout to the director Justin for casting me in the project. Relationships matter in this town. There are lots of "tough" parts to the journey of being an actor..most of which I will share along the journey of this blog. You're always broke, you don't work nearly as much as you want to..etc. The FUN of what I do, among other things, is that I get to live a million different lives on camera and then when its done I go back to my pretty cool life. So Justin lets me know that the role that we want you to play is...adult film star. Awesome! Ive never done an adult film..so its something outside of my usual comfort zone which is what makes it fun to act. What does an adult film star do, outside of the obvious? Whats his point of view on this project? His Costar? His director? From an acting technique standpoint, these are some of the questions that I have to ask myself and answer in order to be PREPARED for the role. Make no mistake y'all, you have to prepare for your role in order to truly do your best work as an artist. You don't just walk on set without doing the research and "wing it". You read the script and you learn your lines. You adjust your physical look for how the character is supposed to look. I had some lead time, so that left me time to run, hit the gym and stretch so that I look like a hot adult film star is supposed to look. That helps you turn up the swagger and confidence, something that all stars (athletics, film, adult film, musicians) have in common. There is preparation involved gang. The bigger the project, the more money and pressure involved and the thing that will save your sanity is looking at yourself in the mirror and KNOWING that you did all you could to be prepared to do you best work!
The actual scene went fine. It was just as laughable as you can imagine. I had to pantomime doing my job as a porn star complete with thrusting and sound effects. I also got to walk around the set with a devil may care attitude..something you cant always do in your real life. I was fully clothed the whole time but the shots making it look like I was pants-less were pretty funny to do as well. The bottom line is what we do is make believe, its fun, its acting..its called a screen-PLAY. The playing I get to do is fun and keeps my heart connected to acting. Even when I am playing on camera for tens of millions of dollars, it will always be fun to me. Whatever you do guys, keep it FUN!!
I'm always here with questions. Our quote of the week...
"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure"
Thanks for reading guys!!
The fitness column was pretty well received. So please don't hesitate to contact me if you have any questions that I didn't answer.
Spent some quality time last week working on set. Yes, the thing I try to do and would do every damn day if I could. :) The project is titled "Only in LA" and is a collection of vignettes that happen in and around the city of Los Angeles. The particular story that I worked on centered around a broken up couple reuniting, awkwardly, on the set of an adult film. So was I playing the male love interest? The guy that came between the couple? NOPE..i got to play an adult film star!!! YES! So very excited I was. Why? That's the point of today's column..the FUN of what I do.
First, big shout to the director Justin for casting me in the project. Relationships matter in this town. There are lots of "tough" parts to the journey of being an actor..most of which I will share along the journey of this blog. You're always broke, you don't work nearly as much as you want to..etc. The FUN of what I do, among other things, is that I get to live a million different lives on camera and then when its done I go back to my pretty cool life. So Justin lets me know that the role that we want you to play is...adult film star. Awesome! Ive never done an adult film..so its something outside of my usual comfort zone which is what makes it fun to act. What does an adult film star do, outside of the obvious? Whats his point of view on this project? His Costar? His director? From an acting technique standpoint, these are some of the questions that I have to ask myself and answer in order to be PREPARED for the role. Make no mistake y'all, you have to prepare for your role in order to truly do your best work as an artist. You don't just walk on set without doing the research and "wing it". You read the script and you learn your lines. You adjust your physical look for how the character is supposed to look. I had some lead time, so that left me time to run, hit the gym and stretch so that I look like a hot adult film star is supposed to look. That helps you turn up the swagger and confidence, something that all stars (athletics, film, adult film, musicians) have in common. There is preparation involved gang. The bigger the project, the more money and pressure involved and the thing that will save your sanity is looking at yourself in the mirror and KNOWING that you did all you could to be prepared to do you best work!
The actual scene went fine. It was just as laughable as you can imagine. I had to pantomime doing my job as a porn star complete with thrusting and sound effects. I also got to walk around the set with a devil may care attitude..something you cant always do in your real life. I was fully clothed the whole time but the shots making it look like I was pants-less were pretty funny to do as well. The bottom line is what we do is make believe, its fun, its acting..its called a screen-PLAY. The playing I get to do is fun and keeps my heart connected to acting. Even when I am playing on camera for tens of millions of dollars, it will always be fun to me. Whatever you do guys, keep it FUN!!
I'm always here with questions. Our quote of the week...
"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure"
Thanks for reading guys!!
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